The clocks have gone back, the evenings are getting darker, and there’s a noticeable chill in the air. Autumn is well and truly here, and winter isn’t far behind.
For some people, this is a wonderful time of year. Cosy evenings, warm drinks, autumn walks and the opportunity to slow down a little.
For others, however, the changing seasons can bring a noticeable shift in how they feel emotionally.
You might find yourself feeling more tired than usual, struggling with motivation, becoming less sociable or simply feeling a little flat without really understanding why.
If that sounds familiar, you’re certainly not alone.
Why Do the Changing Seasons Affect Us?
Our emotional wellbeing doesn’t exist in isolation from the world around us. Our environment, daily routines, relationships and exposure to natural daylight can all influence how we feel.
During autumn and winter, shorter days mean we’re exposed to less natural light. This can affect our body’s internal clock, known as our circadian rhythm, which helps regulate our sleep and waking patterns.
Reduced daylight is also thought to influence chemicals involved in regulating mood and sleep, including serotonin and melatonin.
For some people, these changes are barely noticeable. For others, they can have a much greater impact.
And sometimes, it isn’t simply the lack of daylight that affects us. It’s how our lives change alongside the seasons.
Darker Evenings and the Feeling of Isolation
Think about how different life can feel during the summer.
We tend to spend more time outdoors, evenings feel longer, and there may be more opportunities to socialise or enjoy spontaneous activities.
Then autumn arrives.
We finish work and it’s already getting dark. The weather becomes colder, going out feels less appealing, and spending another evening indoors can seem like the easiest option.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying time at home. In fact, slowing down can be beneficial.
But for someone who already experiences loneliness, anxiety or low mood, those longer evenings can sometimes amplify difficult feelings.
Without the usual distractions of a busy day, we may become more aware of our thoughts, worries or emotions.
Things that felt manageable during the summer can suddenly seem a little heavier.
A Time to Slow Down, Snuggle Up and Reconnect
But there’s another side to autumn that we shouldn’t overlook.
While the darker evenings can feel difficult for some, they can also offer something rather lovely: an opportunity to slow down and enjoy the simple comforts of life.
There’s something special about coming home on a cold evening, putting the heating on, getting comfortable under a blanket and sharing a quiet evening with someone you care about.
Perhaps it’s snuggling up on the sofa with your partner, watching a film together, enjoying a warm drink or simply having a conversation without the usual distractions of everyday life.
Those little moments of affection, warmth and togetherness can be incredibly meaningful.
Physical affection, when welcomed and comfortable for both people, can help us feel close, reassured and emotionally connected.
And it doesn’t always have to involve grand romantic gestures. Sometimes holding hands, a reassuring hug or simply sitting close to someone can communicate more than words.
Autumn can be a lovely reminder that relationships need nurturing too.
Of course, not everyone has a partner to share those cosy evenings with, and connection doesn’t have to be romantic. Spending time with friends, family, a beloved pet or simply creating a warm, comforting space for yourself can be equally valuable.
Perhaps instead of viewing the darker evenings only as something to endure, we can also begin to see them as an opportunity to embrace a slightly slower pace of life.
To rest, reconnect and appreciate the little things that sometimes get overlooked.
When Motivation Starts to Disappear
Have you ever noticed how much harder it can feel to get yourself moving during the colder months?
Perhaps you normally enjoy exercising, walking or meeting friends, but suddenly the motivation isn’t there.
You might find yourself putting things off, spending longer in bed or feeling guilty because you’re not doing as much as you think you should.
And that guilt can become another emotional burden.
It’s worth remembering that motivation naturally fluctuates. We aren’t machines, and expecting ourselves to maintain exactly the same energy and enthusiasm throughout the year isn’t always realistic.
Rather than criticising yourself for what you’re not doing, it may be more helpful to ask yourself what you need.
Sometimes a little encouragement and routine can help. At other times, we might need rest, connection or an opportunity to talk about what’s going on.
Could It Be Seasonal Affective Disorder?
For some people, seasonal changes can contribute to something more significant than a temporary dip in mood.
Seasonal Affective Disorder, often referred to as SAD, is a form of depression that follows a seasonal pattern, most commonly appearing during autumn and winter.
Symptoms can include persistent low mood, tiredness, changes in sleep or appetite, irritability, difficulty concentrating and losing interest in activities that would normally bring enjoyment.
However, not everyone who feels less motivated or a little down during winter has SAD.
There is an important distinction between experiencing normal seasonal changes in mood and living with depression that significantly affects everyday life.
If your symptoms are persistent, worsening or affecting your ability to function, speaking with your GP can be an important first step.
Looking After Yourself During the Darker Months
There isn’t a single solution that works for everyone, but small changes can sometimes make the autumn and winter months feel more manageable.
Make the most of natural daylight. Even a short walk during daylight hours can provide an opportunity to get outside, move your body and take a break from everyday pressures.
Maintain some routine. When the evenings become darker, it’s easy for our usual habits to slip. Keeping reasonably consistent sleeping patterns, mealtimes and activities can provide a sense of structure.
Stay connected. It’s tempting to withdraw when we’re feeling low, but maintaining contact with friends, family or people we trust can help reduce feelings of isolation.
Make time for warmth and connection. Whether that’s cuddling up with your partner, sharing a meal, meeting a friend for coffee or enjoying an evening with your pet, small moments of comfort and connection matter.
Be mindful of your expectations. Not every day needs to be productive. Sometimes looking after yourself means acknowledging that you’re tired, emotionally drained or simply need some time to yourself.
Pay attention to how you’re feeling. Rather than automatically dismissing changes in your mood, take a moment to consider what might be contributing to them.
Most importantly, try not to judge yourself for finding certain times of year more difficult than others.
Sometimes It’s About More Than the Season
One thing worth considering is that the changing seasons don’t necessarily create all the emotions we experience.
Sometimes the quieter evenings simply give us more time to notice feelings that were already there.
Perhaps there’s something happening in a relationship, pressure at work, loneliness, unresolved experiences or a general sense of dissatisfaction that you’ve been carrying for some time.
During busier periods, it’s easy to push these feelings aside.
But when life slows down, they can become harder to ignore.
And although that can feel uncomfortable, becoming aware of how we’re feeling can also be the beginning of understanding ourselves better.
You Don’t Have to Wait Until Things Become Overwhelming
Counselling isn’t only for those experiencing a crisis or significant mental health difficulties.
Sometimes it’s simply about having a space where you can talk openly, explore your feelings and begin to make sense of what’s happening in your life.
As a person-centred counsellor, I believe that everyone deserves to feel heard, understood and accepted without judgement.
Whether you’re struggling with the changing seasons or something entirely unrelated, having someone alongside you as you explore your experiences can make a meaningful difference.
As the nights draw in, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself a simple question:
Am I giving my emotional wellbeing the same attention that I give everything else in my life?
If you’d like to explore how counselling might help, you’re welcome to get in touch.
Jack English Counselling